All Are Welcome

Culture

You may define yourself as having a particular cultural background. This might include being Christian, Catholic, Muslim, Jewish, Hindu, Sikh or Buddhist and whilst aspects of your cultural background may still be significant, the religious element has dwindled and, if asked a direct question, you might consider yourself to be secular or atheist.

 If you are now unaffiliated to a particular religion, for the important occasions in life, especially births, marriages and deaths, you may no longer want a religious ceremony, in a religious building, led by a faith leader. As humanist celebrants, we compose and conduct an appropriate, well structured and imaginative ceremony by working in partnership with the couple, the family or the next of kin.

 To mark any of the great rites of passage in life, the familiar path is to choose a ceremony in the tradition that you have come from, where there will be pre-written ceremonies to mark the event. If you do see yourself now as secular or atheist, this compromise can create discomfort and unease. 

 A humanist ceremony will do everything you could wish for, as it will be tailor-made to you and the occasion. It will also welcome and respect the people that are close to you, who have chosen to continue within the religious framework they grew up in. 

Cross-Culture

I recently conducted a renewal of vows ceremony for a couple who had been married and lived together for six years and had two much loved children. They had become a family together. She was from a Catholic background and he was a Muslim. They both had residual faith but were, in practice, secular. A humanist ceremony led by a humanist celebrant was a safe place as neither background held sway over the over other and both were included equally. Humanist ceremonies do not involve faith and the ceremony can be conducted anywhere that is appropriate. Consequently the identity of the venue need not ‘brand’ the ceremony. It can be as inclusive as the couple want it to be.  

Sexuality

‘The Christian Church, among others, has not been kind to the gay community’.

The humanist wedding ceremony takes as its heart the tribute, which addresses the story of the couple’s relationship, how they met, how they discovered they had feelings for one another and when they realised they were in love and wanted to move to the next step in their relationship. It is the public declaration of their private commitment. It is a joyous celebration, both funny and serious, to have in front of a wider gathering.

 It involves a love story. It is intensely personal and unique to those involved. It is for you and about you. 

Disability

A humanist ceremony is moulded around you. It doesn’t come out of a book with all manner of pre-set conditions. It can recognise any disability, multiple disabilities, and absorb them into the ceremony. As you are the heart of the ceremony it can be taken at any pace that is appropriate to you; not so much that horrible word, tolerance, but a celebration of who you are.

 The venue and its accessibility, is a choice left entirely up to you. You are not required to work your way into a building that hasn’t been designed with you in mind. You may have friends and family who you would like to participate. Clearly they too may have disabilities which can be embraced into the occasion.

 As for building the ceremony I can visit you in your home or near to you to find out exactly what you have in mind and what needs to be taken into consideration. I will listen and combined with my own experience, we can build it together. 

The Dying

Towards the end of January Rob emailed me and introduced himself as follows;

“My name is Robert. I’m 54 years of age and live in Barkingside.

For the past 7 years, I’ve been treated for advanced prostate cancer. I have now come virtually to the end of the available treatments and the prognosis isn’t optimistic. My wife Lysa and I have therefore started to make arrangements accordingly, one of which is, inevitably, a funeral.

I have no religious beliefs and no wish for a religious funeral, so I contacted you....” and we took it from there.

Over the following six months we met and co-wrote his funeral. Everything was expressed exactly as he wanted. It was a great privilege to be invited into this man’s life. He was devoted to cricket and even when he was quite ill followed the England team all over the world. As his closing music for the funeral he chose ‘Soul Limbo’ (as an atheist the joke was well made) by Booker T and the MGs – it is the unmistakable soundtrack to Test Match Special. The gathering roared with laughter which was exactly as he intended.